I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
