i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
