im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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