im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
