oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my shit smells like andre
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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