every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
