'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
