I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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