she was so not down for the gang bang
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
