the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
