it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
