best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You made out with two different species that night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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