PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
