Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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