Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
