it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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