He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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