i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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