Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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