Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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