ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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