I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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