i would punch a child for taco bell
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
