this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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