sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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