Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
