it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I met the friendliest cop last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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