You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
ok first of all what the fuck
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
