I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
