he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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