the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
