The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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