he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
