I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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