More tranny stories later!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
