After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
