I got chris browned last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
