You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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