birth control should be required to get into college
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
