her vagine was all disorganized.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
