Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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