well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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