I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
