After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
