White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
even my farts smell like vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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