She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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