whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You can't motorboat a personality
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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