yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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