you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
