Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
