i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
