so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
