I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
