I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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