we're blogging at a bar
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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